I have been divorced from my children's father since 2004. We had been married for 30 years. About 6 months after the uncontested relatively friendly divorce he began refusing to see his children/grandchildren or communicate with them in any way. They tried over and over but were rebuffed.
We found out by chance last week he had died. It was a month after his funeral. His companion arranged the funeral, cremation and kept the urn with his ashes in her possession. She filed a will 6 days after his sudden death.
Being unable to say goodbye has hurt my children more than any human being any words could describe. I call them children but they were men and a woman shedding tears for their father. They were making herculean effort to forgive the bad and remember the good. After days of searching on the Internet first to confirm the death, find out the cause, find out about the funeral and lack of gravesite, a will was found filed. They were hopeful there would be some small memento for them from their father; something that said I loved you. He did not have much money and few possession so this was not about money or things.
They got a copy of the will and read it hoping for something that said I loved my children, my only children. In his will he left each child, listed by name, $1.00 each. And basically the will said he was deliberately excluding them from any part in his life and now his death. I can not begin to describe what these words did to three children that were genuinely grieving for their father when with these vicious words he reached out from his ashes and slapped the faces of his tender hearted children(don't we all revert back to children when our parent dies) as hard as he could.
This is my turn to speak about the deceased. If you want to remember James George Faulk, Jr, Date of Birth 3/17/1948, I hope you think about how this cruel, malicious, malevolent, deceitful, spiteful man acted. I have never hated someone so much in my life as I do this man that hurt my children. I know all of my friends and family will pray for me to forgive; I have to ask you to absolve me for now for discussing forgiveness. But if anyone wants to discuss how hot the fires of hell are, please feel free to speculate.